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Top 5 Places to Break Up on the GC

Yeah you read that right, we’ve got your back.

Your covid fling trying to set roots? Your long-term partner doing your head in and you’ve finally had enough of their bull shit? Even your side chick/dick is making life harder than it needs to be? Do not fear, here are 5 places you can say “Fuck Off” in style: 

Burleigh Pavilion – Burleigh

Cliche af, but great if you want the choice of a day or nighttime thing. Surround yourself with the sophisticated ambiance of influencers, the smashing of froze glasses and the faint drunken shouting from Burleigh hill. In all seriousness though, it’s a stunning venue with casual drink and food options… PLUS the toilets are on the way out so if you want to do my usual “i’ll be right back” and smoke bomb move, it’s perfect.

The Scottish Prince – Palm Beach

Firstly its dark as fuck in there, so all the man tears can be kept a secret. Secondly, it’s a whisky bar so if you need some extra courage, the bartenders are annoyingly cool and they can whip you up something nice before the big moment. Also it’s a pretty moody place so you wanna go into deep details of why you’re putting them in the bin, it’s your choice for sure!  

Aloha Bar – Broadbeach

There’s something sickeningly fun about saying goodbye with a Tiki cup in hand, then again maybe i’m a total asshole so you might not think the same. The place always has a great vibe and mix of people, plus there’s really loud music so you can’t hear all of their bullshit excuses. Then when they storm out you can carry on making your way through the extensive cocktail list and get yourself into a blissful oblivion.

The Cambus Wallace – Nobby’s Beach

Don’t be mistaken, you haven’t gone to the wrong place. Their front door makes it feel like you’re walking into Narnia or some shit. I remember the first time I went, I must’ve walked down that strip four times before I realised there was even a door there. Anyways, there’s a nice long bar you can sit at or individual tables so it really depends on how public you want it to be. I say make it a spectacle! There’s probably three other couples in there secretly wanting to do the same thing, you could be that little bit of courage they’ve been looking for. 

Literally any Fucking Tavern or Surfclub – Anywhere

I only say this, because it’s where I chose to bin my last one. The words of “I’ll never eat a parmi the same” was music to my ears. Just thought you’d enjoy that, I have nothing else to say. 

I mean you could just do a call or cop-out text but why not make it a memory to never forget? Before you say anything YES I’m well aware all the places mentioned are bars, but then you can go out after and either: 1) Drink your sorrows or 2) Kick-on and celebrate the dead weight you’ve just got rid of – What could be better than that? 

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